Billie Eilish is a household name in modern music, with nine Grammy wins, two Oscar awards, and heartrending vocals that could move mountains. On top of her music and accolades, though, the singer-songwriter is well-known for her bold fashion sense, activism, and candid personality, the latter of which has led her to speak openly and authentically about delicate topics, like mental health.
Billie Eilish has been open about her struggles with mental health since her rise to fame as a teenager. Though she’s now 23 years old, Eilish has said she never thought she’d make it this far. In a 2020 interview, the musician admitted, “I don’t want to be too dark but I genuinely, like, didn’t think I’d make it to 17.”
Eilish has battled depression her entire life, and during certain periods, struggled with self-harm and suicide ideation. She’s told interviewers how she used to hide self-inflicted wounds on her arms, and on multiple occasions, had thoughts of ending her own life.
“My whole life, I’ve never been a happy person, really,” Eilish recently explained to Rolling Stone. “I’ve been a joyous person, but not a happy person. I experience joy and laughter and I can find fun in things, but I’m a depressed person.”
Although her moods ebb and flow, with both bad and good moments along the way, she recognizes what an incredible life she has. And though fame has been hard for her at times, she uses her platform to advocate for important issues like mental health—and to reach others who are struggling.
Billie Eilish’s Mental Health Journey
Billie Eilish has dealt with many mental health issues, depression and beyond. From a young age, the singer also struggled with anxiety, body dysmorphia, and self-harm.
In previous interviews, she’s said her anxiety has existed for years. Most recently, her anxiety manifested as panic attacks when she started touring, and a general fear of being alone. However, she recalls that she had severe separation anxiety as a child and always had to be near her parents (until about age 12, according to her dad).
At 12 years old, Eilish started dancing competitively. She explains there were a lot of “pretty girls” at her dance company, and it was the most insecure she ever felt in her life. “At dance, you wear really tiny clothes,” she says in an interview with Rolling Stone. “And I’ve never felt comfortable in really tiny clothes. I was always worried about my appearance. That was the peak of my body dysmorphia. I couldn’t look in the mirror at all.”
Still, she became very good at dancing, reaching the advanced level at her dance company, and continued until tragedy struck. At age 13, Eilish injured her hip, rupturing a growth plate that forced her to quit dancing altogether. She explains that this is when her depression started. “It sent me down a hole. I went through a whole self-harming phase — we don’t have to go into it. But the gist of it was, I felt like I deserved to be in pain.”
This was also around the time that her music career started taking off. At age 14, the song “Ocean Eyes” (written by her brother, Finneas, with Billie as vocals) became a major hit and opened many doors for the Eilish siblings. Billie Eilish’s debut album was then released when she was 17 years old. The rise to fame was tough for her; she recalls ages 14 to 16 being some of her toughest yet.
“Growing up in the public eye is a very bruising experience. It’s really hard to develop and change for a lot of reasons.” On top of this, she also had severe imposter syndrome, and struggled to find herself and a sense of normalcy. This – normalcy – is something she still strives for to this day.
Today, at age 23, Eilish is in a better place than she was in her teen years. She gives credit to her mom, to therapy, and to her loved ones that support her day-in and day-out. She also prioritized self-care and things that made her happy, like riding horses, driving her Dodge Challenger, and spending time with friends who care. She designs her tours in ways that are manageable for her, taking days off between shows and bringing her friends and family along for the ride.
One thing that Billie Eilish didn’t do? While many people struggling with mental health problems self-medicate with substances, Billie Eilish didn’t touch drugs or alcohol. In fact, Rolling Stone says her song “Xanny” is all about how pills are “dumb.”
Recognizing Others’ Mental Health Struggles
Although Billie Eilish is an incredible role model for others, showing that anyone can struggle with issues like depression and body image, she still laughs and says she has “no idea” what she’s doing half the time. She’s still learning about herself and how to navigate each day at a time.
And although she no longer engages in self-harm, she does recognize others who do. When she sees fans with cuts on their arms, she tells them things like “Please, take care of yourself and be good to yourself and be nice to yourself.” Or, “Don’t take that extra step and hurt yourself further and you can’t take it back.” Billie Eilish also goes out of her way to compliment her fans, particularly those in their teens, and shower them with love.
And although Billie doesn’t want to be known as a spokesperson for mental health, she recognizes her songs have the power to help struggling fans. “Kids use my songs as a hug. Songs about being depressed or suicidal or completely just against-yourself — some adults think that’s bad, but I feel that seeing that someone else feels just as horrible as you do is a comfort. It’s a good feeling.”
Billie Eilish on Asking for Help
In a PSA called “Seize the Awkward,” Billie Eilish encouraged listeners to seek help if they are also struggling. “It doesn’t make you weak to ask for help. It doesn’t make you weak to ask for a friend, to go to a therapist.”
She also encourages others to act as listening ears, to hug their friends, and to ask if they’re okay. “You know, starting that conversation, you don’t have to make it super serious right away… say, ‘How are you feeling? Like, are you OK?’”
“You should be able to ask anyone for help; everyone has to help someone if they need it.”
Billie Eilish is one of the many esteemed musicians who have struggled with mental health disorders like depression and anxiety. She has found solace in therapy, her loved ones, and making space for self-care. If you are struggling, she also encourages you to ask for help.
If you do not know where to turn, know that we are here for you. Turnbridge is a recognized mental health treatment provider, helping a community of teenagers and young adults overcome issues like depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and more. You are not alone. Call us today at 877-581-1793 to speak confidentially with a professional.