I’m on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain’t always gonna be gold.
For many, it’s a song that’s played on repeat through their car speakers. For others, it’s a party anthem. For Kid Cudi, “Pursuit of Happiness” is a reflection on his struggles with grief, depression, and trauma—and his search for happiness in the wrong places. And it’s just one of the many songs that speak to his mental health and substance abuse journey.
Kid Cudi is a renowned rapper, singer, and songwriter who first rose to fame in 2008, when his song “Day ‘N’ Night” caught the attention of Kanye West. He quickly became a household name in modern hip hop and has won multiple Grammy awards for his work. And on top of his incredible music career, Kid Cudi has also positioned himself as an advocate for mental health – talking openly about his struggles with substance addiction, depression, and anxiety, as well as his (albeit complex) road to recovery.
Let’s explore Kid Cudi’s mental health and substance abuse journey.
The Early Years
Kid Cudi, born Scott Mescudi, was born in Cleveland, Ohio. When he was just 11 years old, his father passed away from cancer and other health complications. This led to lasting trauma and grief—In “Soundtrack 2 My Life,” he reveals, “Since my father died, I ain’t been right since.”
In “Down & Out,” he goes deeper into the internal struggles this caused: ““For even in hell, I still have faith / To one day be free with my father at the gates.”
The Rise to Fame
In 2008, Kid Cudi caught the attention of Kanye West after his song, “Day ‘N’ Night” exploded. The song appeared on his debut album, Man on the Moon: The End of Day, which, in its entirety, revealed a lot about Kid Cudi’s experiences with loneliness, depression, and anxiety. Right off the bat, he captured fans with raw, honest depictions of mental health struggles and his desire to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol.
His rise to stardom exacerbated those feelings. In Cudi: The Memoir, the artist disclosed: “The fame was getting intense. The attention was starting to get to me, and I didn’t like people having eyes on me all the time. It wasn’t the celebrity I wanted; it was the music career, the influence, the impact. But celebrity came with it.”
He further explained how he turned to drugs to cope with the pressure and stress. This, however, caused him to spiral into a vicious addictive cycle. “Grappling with fame pushed me toward cocaine, which I only ever did alone. I was drawn to it in isolation, and my time by myself was increasing. I was feeling shut-in and I could barely even leave my house. The coke felt like a necessary countermeasure for my celebrity, but it was wreaking havoc on my life, creatively and personally.”
His Struggle with Substance Abuse
In 2010, Kid Cudi suffered from a near-fatal overdose from his cocaine use. He was in his New York City apartment at the time, alone and crying, recalling that it was the most cocaine he’d ever done in his life. “I was at peace with dying,” he admitted.
“I was a role model, but I didn’t feel like one. People called me their savior. But who was going to save me? I was a lighthouse for others, but I couldn’t find my own way. It was peace I was after. Here, crippled on the floor, minutes from overdosing, was the closest I’d ever come to finding it.”
He now describes that moment as one of the darkest moments of his addiction, as he was clouded by suicidal thoughts and constantly using drugs and alcohol to cope.
A Turning Point
In October 2016, Kid Cudi voluntarily checked himself into a treatment center for depression and suicidal ideation. He made a public announcement to his fans via Facebook at the time, explaining, “I am not at peace. I haven’t been since you’ve known me. If I didn’t come here, I would’ve done something to myself.”
Unfortunately, just two weeks into his recovery journey, Kid Cudi suffered a stroke while in rehab. The medical emergency became a major turning point for the artist, forcing him to confront the severity of his substance use and overall health.
“I’ll be back, stronger, better. Reborn.”
After rehab, Kid Cudi returned to music, releasing Kids See Ghosts in 2018. The standout song on the album? “Reborn.” A song that accepts peace, recovery, and helped the star move past inner demons.
I’m so reborn, I’m movin’ forward.
Recovery Isn’t Linear, But It’s Possible
Kid Cudi has been on the road to recovery since his overdose in 2010, but the road has not been linear. After his overdose, he stopped using but did not publicly seek professional help. When he relapsed and realized his continued struggle with depression, that’s when he sought out a professional rehab setting.
In an interview with People, Cudi gave credit to his rehab journey. “Ever since then I haven’t been like — yeah, I get down about some things, but then I get over it. Like before s— would hit me for like weeks, something bad happens, I’m like in the house for weeks just like miserable.” He added that “ever since 2016, I’ve been like a thousand times better.”
Opening Mental Health Conversations
Whether through his platform or his artistry, Kid Cudi now stands as a spokesperson for mental health awareness. In an exclusive interview with People, he left his fans with this message:
“When we’re young, we face a lot of pressure to do things that harm us. We pretend to be happy when there’s a raging violent storm inside of our heart. Once it was difficult for me to find the words. Anxiety and depression ruled my life for as long as I could remember. I was scared, I was sad, I felt like a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions.”
“I knew I deserved peace and to be happy, but I didn’t know how. It took me a while to get to this place of commitment, to say I’m gonna get through this. To know that we can take our pain and turn it into something.”
“I turn my pain into music. And my music is how I am different. And my difference is my power.”
If you or someone you love is struggling with depression, anxiety, and/or substance addiction, you are not alone. Anyone can be affected by these conditions—even celebrities. Just know that recovery is possible, and there is help available to you. If you’re unsure where to turn, you can always call Turnbridge for guidance. Turnbridge is a mental health treatment facility for young people struggling with mental health and substance use disorders. Call 877-581-1793 to speak with a specialist.